back under blindfold

Our first day under blind fold was interesting. I had not put on a blindfold in over 1 year so it took a few minutes to get use to it again. Also this was the second time I had been back in the Stone building since May, so the areas we were in, down stairs and in the new part of the building, I had little to no visual memory to rely on.
I did enjoy feeling and hearing the differences when going in and out of hallways and into the atrium area on the ground floor. I think because it was so cold that day I could really feel a change in temperature when we walked into more open areas.

And then there was the elevator...

I think if I did not have the blindfold on I could have faked my way through it like I do when I am around people and do not want to show them how scared I really am of an everyday common thing that most people don't think twice about using. I have done this with other before, like when I was at FSDB with teachers or my students. I would tense up, and try to keep conversation going so I could distract myself. I'm sure some of my students noticed this. I know that especially with younger children if I act like something is dangerous and scary they will think that I must have some valid reason for feeling that way so they should be scared of it too. I do not want to, and cannot pass this fear onto my students, or be so scared of elevators that my students miss out on an important mobility skill.
It's just an irrational fear. I know these thing, I know I will not die, or be stuck very long, if I ever get stuck again; but it's that fear of it happening again that stops me. I think the longer I have put it off, the more I have avoided it, the worse it has gotten. It is also really embarrassing because I am afraid to do something everyone else does so easily. Before I got stuck 5 years ago I use to go in them all the time. I remember being little and playing in them, pressing every button so we would stop on every floor. I know I can get back to that point, it is just going to take some time. I appreciate everyone's understanding of this quirk of mine, and for (hopefully) not thinking I am a total weirdo.

I am looking forward to this class. At FSDB I saw what good mobility teachers can do for their students, and I am excited that I will one day be able to do the same.