Almost done...

I cannot believe I'm almost done with my internship...and college in general. In the past few weeks I have had to start saying goodbye to some of our clients, because we sometimes don't see them for a month between appointments. I have enjoyed the process of observing my clients, reading their files, teaching them, and finally seeing some progress. I have one client who was very nervous about her mobility. She would have to be heavily encouraged before she would cross a driveway or a parking lot in her apartment complex. Now she crosses with confidence. When I first met her, there was always one sidewalk that would confuse her and she would stop and get very disoriented. Now she breezes by it as if it doesn't even exist. On our route to the bus stop, I just stand back and let her go. In our last lesson I did not prompt her once on our walk home from the stop. I've also worked with her on building confidence. She used to always phrase things as a question "this is the bus stop..?". Now she says things with determination "This IS the bus stop". I've also watched her self advocacy develop. During our bus trips she has had to independently ask the drive to announce the stops, assist her in locating her gate at the plaza, and even once informed the driver that the first seats on the left are reserved for people with disabilities.
At F.S.D.B. I was proud of my students when they successfully washed the dishes or wrote a check. I never thought I would feel this proud of an adult. It's a different kind of pride with mobility lessons. This is why I love O&M. What I am able to teach these clients and students can give them back one of the most basic abilities, the freedom to move safely. Whether it be riding the bus, or getting around their home, it's so important to building their confidence and being independent. I feel like when teaching O&M the results are more concrete, and yet can be applied in so many situations and aspects of life.
I love teaching O&M (and I hope I'll get to do a lot of it in my new job in Denver!)

firsts

I have experienced a lot of firsts this week. I have a client who is prone to seizures and is on a lot of medication to try to control her condition. Yesterday I was traveling with her in the mall, working on trailing and two point touch. All of a sudden she just stopped walking and turned toward me as if she was going to ask a question. He husband was with us because he happened to have the day off and wanted to observe what we were teaching her so he could help work with her at home. All of a sudden he stepped up and suggested that she grab his arm and follow him to a nearby bench. That’s when I realized he was seeing something I wasn’t. As we walked around the corner, about 10 feet from the bench her body went limp and she collapsed. It was really scary to see someone who had just been walking and talking and laughing just drop to the ground. I’m sooooo glad her husband was with us, he had to grab her under her arms to keep her from hitting the ground when she blacked out. He was able to gently lay her on the ground and turn her on her side. I know during my internship I’ll never be alone with a client, but say in 2 months when I’m working on my own, if this had happened to me I have NO idea what I would have done. I have no upper body strength what so ever, if I tried to catch her we both would have gone down. Several people in the mall began watching us and asking if they should call security. If I had been alone, I guess the best thing to do would be to ask for help from people around me. So anyway, she was lying on the ground convulsing and twitching with her mouth open. To be honest, it really freaked me out. Amanda was right there with the client’s husband, making sure she didn’t hit her body on anything. I was stood and watched, and after about a minute I sat down because everyone else was sitting and I felt awkward just standing over them looking like I had no clue what was going on. Less than 5 minutes later she regained consciousness and began talking. She was very disoriented and asked us repeatedly what we had done in today’s lesson. She could not remember what skills we worked on or how long we had been at the mall. That’s when I knew the lesson was over for sure, even thought I was pretty sure as soon as she hit the ground that we were done for the day. I had been telling Amanda how nervous I was about seeing someone have a seizure, but it was not as bad as I had imagined. I was glad to be able to kind of sit this one out and just observe.

I also had a student this week who is learning cane skills and wanted to be blindfolded to practice his skills because there is a possibility he may lose more vision in the future. It seemed to scare him to put the blindfold on, possible because he was facing his fear and experiencing what it would be like to have no vision. During the lesson it felt like I was back in the Williams building teaching David. I was able to help my client identify environmental information that helped him stay oriented. Once the blindfold was off, he said he felt better now that he had tried it and experienced that he could do it. I know there is a debate over whether to use or not use blindfolds in mobility and I thought this was a perfect example to sum up my feelings on the matter. My student was anxious about using the blindfold, but he was willing work thought his fear to gain more self confidence. This was his choice alone and we did not encourage him either way. Because he chose to and we didn’t make him, he was willing to work hard and keep trying even after being frustrated. I would never force a student to wear a blindfold if they didn’t want to. Of course I would mention it as an option for those clients’s whose vision is not stable, but that’s all it would be, an option. I feel that if you force a client to do something that terrifies them, they will not be learning.

So it’s been a busy week. Dining in the dark was amazing, I was a seater and the very first thing I did once I walked into the blacked out ballroom was stick my fingers directly into someone’s salad dressing. Joking aside, it was a humbling experience that I think helped me to relate more to my clients. During O&M 1 and 2 I could always take my mindfold off, I know we weren’t supposed to, but knowing I had the option was comforting. In a room where it is pitch black and you can’t make it go away, it felt like I couldn’t escape the darkness. My eyes for straining for some bit of light and there was nothing. Overall I had a blast, and learned a lot for working at the event.

Week 6&7

Week 6/7

I know I haven't been keeping up with my blogs the past couple of weeks. A lot has happened and I have been so busy. Every night before I pass out I think "oh no I didn't write my blog...again". I know how happy new blog posts make Mickey, so I'm sorry.


Weeks 6 and week 7 were a little choppy. I felt like one day we would have clients from 7am to 7pm, and then the next we would have nothing. Clients have continued to cancel on us at an irritating rate. Now we are making sure we call people a few days before to remind them, and then within 24 hours of their appointment. We have caught a lot of early cancelations this way, instead of traveling out to their home to learn they can't meet. I'm still really enjoying my time at the Lighthouse and even though the schedule is erratic I like, it keeps things fresh and interesting.

I have really started to notice a difference in teaching teens and adults. I know I have stated this before, but recently it’s been really bad. I have several clients in their 20s who do not want to work on O&M skills. I have one student who gets disoriented, so I check his orientation by asking him where one of his landmarks is. When he is way off I correct him and he immediately snaps at me saying "I know, I know." After hearing that so many times it's tempting to say 'if you know, then why are we here?’ That would be very unprofessional so instead in this last lesson when he stated giving me the "I know" I simply let him go, using all of the things he thought he knew. This reminded me SO much of our mobility class. One of us would act very stubborn and convinced we knew where we were going, so Mickey let us go. I got the same result with my student as I had in the mobility class. My student slowly realized what he thought he knew was incorrect. At this point I prompted him to throw away what he thought he knew and use what the environment was telling him (I think it was a direct quote from Mickey). This is a skill I am so glad I learned, not the simple understanding of what a technique is and how to teach it, but an understanding of how to step back, and rebuild orientation based on environmental cues. It's something I use with my client's almost every day.

I have been at the lighthouse long enough now that I have seen some client's several times, and now I'm beginning to enjoy watching their progress. I have one student who rode the bus this week virtually alone. I rode the bus with her, but sat far away from her and did not provide any information or reminders while riding the bus or transferring at the plaza. I'm excited that I have been responsible for her bus lessons and now she's basically ready to do it alone.
I worked on street crossing with a cline this week who was totally petrified to cross streets. In our most recent lesson she did so well, and I could see her confidence and enthusiasm grow.
I was also really proud of another student this week. We are working on bus travel with her too, and normally we try to motivate the younger clients to use the bus by finding a location that interests them. I suggested going to a pizza place, the mall or fun station. The student very maturely suggested she learn a route from her home to her counselor's office instead. I was struck by her maturity and drive to better herself.

I had one terrifying moment with a student this past week. This student is a bit impatient, and thinks that crossing the street in front of her home is 'no big deal'. I've tried telling her that it is a pretty big deal, cars come around a curve in the road just before passing her home, so they cannot see her until it's almost too late. It is a reasonably safe location to cross in a small residential area, but she has to make sure it is totally silent in both directions. She typically will approach the road, listen for about 2 seconds and declare it's safe. However, several times there are been cars approaching. I'll point out the car, then she says she hears it and as soon as it passes her she says it's safe. Many times another car is coming, but she thinks what she's hearing is the sound of the car that just passed her. This is why I stress total silence. Last week she approached the road, identified a car and as soon as it passed her said it's safe and IMMEDIATLY stepped out. Normally she said its safe, then I confirm, and only then do we step out. I think this morning she was feeling grumpy and irritated we were doing another early lesson, so she stated it was safe and didn't wait for me to confirm. I was double checking to confirm it was safe when I saw the car come around the curve in the road and head straight for the student. I yelled 'no!' and put my hand on her shoulder and puller her back. The car saw her and had slowed down, and she really was no more than 2 feet into the road, but still it scared me so bad. I firmly told her how important it was to listen for total silence and that while she is still working on the skills to wait for me to tell her to go. She blew it off and acted like I was over exaggerating. I wanted her to truly understand how dangerous what she just did was, so I told her several times that she could have been seriously hurt or even died. She eventually said she understood and would try to listen more. Street crossing can be so frustrating. I have clients like this one who think nothing of it to step out into traffic, and then others who would wait thought 50 light cycles before crossing. It's my job to get them somewhere in the middle.

This week I worked with an adult client who is learning cane skills from scratch. I got to give her her first cane and show her how to grip it. It felt like a rite of passage, like there should have been some kind of ceremony. She was so eager to learn, we covered the basics of diagonal technique, going up and down stairs and two point touch. She did very well with everything. Two point touch was challenging for her, but after walking to and from her mailbox I noticed her pausing and correcting when she was out of step. I was so proud of her I wanted to give her a hug or a high five. We told her to practice so I'm very excited to see what her skills are like next week.

Things are going good. This coming week will also be a little crazy because I'm going up to D.C. for an interview. I'll do my best to keep this updated!

Week 5 - Brand New Client

This week was busy! I have just now found the time to write this blog...applying to jobs, writing case notes, coaching a soccer team and trying to finish my comps paper by tomorrow a 5pm, I'm getting very good at multi-tasking.

Anyway, this week flew by. I feel like there is no down time, if we are not seeing a client then we are either driving some where to see a client or doing paperwork about seeing the client. The paperwork is getting easier, and now I am really beginning to see the benefit of it. Now when we go to see an existing client I can go back and review what we did last time to see what they had trouble with. To me this is much more relevant that a graph or table showing the percentage of objectives met. We do rate the client on a scale of 5, one score for over all performance in the area, and one number for their skill level at the end of this particular lesson. These numbers can be charted and analyzed, but seeing the number "3" does not remind me that this was the lesson where the client completely lost their orientation when a big truck drove by, or that this was the first time they crossed at a light controlled intersection.
I am very excited about a new client we went to see this week. She is an woman in her 40s who lost her vision a few years ago, and has never had mobility training of any kind. Right now she is using a non-mobility support cane, like the kind you could buy at a drug store. She is very eager to learn. She showed us some of her current methods of getting around her home, and her "cane" technique on stairs was way better than some clients I've seen who have had years of formal mobility training. I'm excited that I get to spend the next couple of months with this woman, introducing her to all the techniques and strategies of mobility. Normally we are teaching a route and fine tuning the mobility skills of a client who was taught by someone else. I'm excited I get to be the one to teach her everything from scratch. I hope I don't mess her up! I know Amanda wouldn't let that happen... We will try to see her fairly often and I'm interested to follow her progress. She also informed us that she has seizures on a regular basis. I've never seen someone have a seizure and it kinda scares me. I'm afraid it will happen during a lesson and I won't know what to do. I'm glad Amanda will be there, she has a lot of experience with client's with epilepsy.
In other news, I have an interview with a school district in Denver in a few weeks! Hopefully I am meet up with David. I'm excited and anxious...the real world is sneaking up on me.

Week 4 - Improv

This week I experienced that being a mobility instructor requires a lot of imporv and sometimes a little 'cover up' (I know that sounds strange). Bus routes can be confusing, and finding a certain bus stop that in theory should exist, but for some reason doesn't, can be very embarrassing. This week I worked with a client in downtown Tallahassee. I know the area well from working it in my O&M II class, but I didn't really pay attention to the bus stops. So the client gets off the bus, I instruct her on how to get to our destination. Later she reversed the route perfectly, she knew what streets we were crossing, and at this point I'm feeling like a pretty good teacher. Then I realize the inbound bus stop I want just isn't there...it just does not exist. I was nervous because this is my second time teaching this client. In our last lesson I took her on a bus going the wrong direction out of the FSU stadium and ended up building some great rapport while we rode the bus full circle, which wasted about 45 minutes. So here I am with this client again, and I messed up the bus route, again. I froze, I didn't want to wander around, and I wanted the client to be involved. So that's when I had the idea to turn my mistake into a teachable moment. I explained to her that this happens sometimes, and we can't just freeze or wander around until we are lost. I asked her if she had any ideas. She suggested we call the Star Metro info line. I had given her the phone number on our last lesson. It was perfect! She was able to call the bus info line, and with some mild coaching she asked questions and lead us to a bus stop. She made a mistake when asking one of the questions, she forgot to mention we wanted an inbound bus. This was just another opportunity for her to learn something, and build her confidence. Hopefully now if she ever gets lost and we are not there, she'll know who to call and exactly what to ask. The idea of her being more empowered to get around independently really made me happy. I have another bus lesson with her in 2 weeks, I'm looking forward to see how she feels about it. Other than that, it was a fun week! I'm working hard and getting those hours!

week 3 - Lake Ella

This week my main supervising teacher was out so I got to work with another COMS at the Lighthouse. I am glad I got the opportunity to see another person's 'mobility style'. They are both excelent, caring teachers and I'm happy to be able to observe them.
This week I went to a few locations in Tallahassee to try to piece together a route for a client. One of these places was Lake Ella. Our client wanted to get from the bus stop to a near by cafe. Anyone who has ever been to Lake Ella knows that while it is very beautiful, their sidewalks are a hot mess!!! They come together a weird angles because the main sidewalk around the lake it curved. The bus stop is near the cottages, so to get past the cottages to the main sidewalk was very tricky. I thought I had a good route going until I came across a giant log laying in the middle of my path. Also, to get to the cafe from the main sidewalk was difficult because there were no permanent landmarks that I could see, and no sidewalk leading up to the cafe. I was there for about an hour walking aroung and around, taking notes, and looking for landmarks. By far the most difficult thing about this was that I had never worked with this client before. All I knew was that he was totally blind, and had some issues with focusing. I didn't know how good or bad his cane skills were, if he was okay with walking in wide open spaces with no shoreline, how good his balance was, or his orientation. That's when it really dawned on me that what I was doing was almost imposible. Our lessons should always be based on the unique needs of each individual. If I tried to make a "one size fits all" route based soley on the fact that this client is totally blind, it could be a huge waste of time. This is exactly what happened when we worked with the client the next day, he had his own route in mind and was able to travel it fairly well because it made sense to him. I know the job of a COMS is to make sure the cleint safely and efficently gets to where he needs to go. His route was both safe and efficent, so the COMS did not try to make him walk the route she had planned. Instead she tried to make his route smoother by providing information about landmarks and cues. She mentioned the noise of the cars on Monroee St., this helped the man know when and where to turn to get to the bus stop. This was just another example of stepping back, letting the student figure things out, and being there to enhance learning instead of to force learning.
Overall this week was great. I've started doing the paperwork immediatly after wotking with the client, instead of saving it all for the end of the week. This helps because my memory is still fresh, and I'm not overwhelemed on Friday with a pile of paperwork.

Week 2 - frustrations

This second week went by so fast! We were very busy, seeing about three clients a day. This week we had the whole spectrum of mobility, from cane technique to bus routes and basic orientation. We are also constantly receiving new referrals, I think we added about 5 clients this week! Those case load information sheets have helped me so much. I'm so glad I took the time to dig through each clients files and put all the important info in one easy to find place. It helps with planning lessons and interacting with the clients. Now I don't have to think "oh does this client want to work on street crossings?" and then go back through a mountain of forms and assessments. I have all my clients in a binder in alphabetical order. I'm not the most organized, so I'm really trying to stay on top of things. Constantly moving in and out of the office to my car, or Amanda's car, or sometimes a rental car; just keeping up with all of my things is a challenge.
This week I taught my first lessons. I helped a student with CP get from his dorm to a dining hall. There was a lot of construction near his dorm so we decided the best way to travel was for him to use an elevated walkway that connects his dorm to another dorm that would allow him to come out very close to the main entrance of the dining hall. The student followed directions very well, he's a fast learner and has great orientation skills so it was easy for me. The only issue that we had was when he tried to enter back into one dorm to take the walkway back to his dorm. His card does not grant him access to the other dorm. I called the housing department to sort this out and was met with some slight hostility. I want to advocate for my clients, but sometimes as I learned, people can be stubborn and are afraid of making changes or exceptions. The man told me because of federal law he could not discuss the matter with me, so when I handed the phone to our client I think he was caught off guard. He then told my client it was a matter of university policy, but he wasn't exactly sure what FSU's policy was because he had just started working there. My client then showed powerful self advocacy skills by telling the housing director that maybe he should learn this universities policies. I was very proud of my client, he was firm and direct without being nasty, even when he had every right to be mad.
I'm glad to have had this interaction. At FSDB all of the teachers, social workers, OT/PT's etc. were on campus, knew each other and the students so there really was little conflict. Now that I'm in a situation where different agencies and organizations are interacting with one another I can see how things get confusing and something very frustrating.
I had another VERY disappointing incident this week because of a miscommunication and lack of a response from another group that works with one of our students. We were supposed to meet at student at his school and ride the bus to a local pizza place. He was excited, we were excited, everything was planned and then we realized he was not officially a client with the Lighthouse because all of his forms had not yet been entered into the system...so we were not legally allowed to work with him. We tried desperately to call people and have something worked out quickly, but it just couldn't be done in time. We had to call our student and cancel, he sounded really let down. I felt terrible, and of course we can't go blaming and name dropping, but I really wanted our student to know that we wanted to see him and we had everything planned on our end, it was someone else who dropped the ball. I worry that if this happened again our student will begin to lose trust in us.
Sorry this post was more a rant about people that are getting in the way of my students instruction, and less about the actual instruction. I am learning that communication with other agencies and schools is a crucial part of my job because it allows me to better serve my students.

Week 1

My first week is over! And I am so tired! It was a long week, on Tuesday afternoon I could have sworn it was Thursday. Amanda, my supervising teacher, had been working with the transition program over the summer, so this week was the first week back for her so and we had a lot of paper work to do and phone calls to make. She said that the following weeks as we see clients more regularly we’ll be going out more, and doing more hands on O&M and less office work.
The paperwork is somewhat mind numbing and tedious. As I understand it DBS funds the Lighthouse, so every thing we do, every phone call, every email, every client visit has to be recorded and applied to a certain client so we can bill DBS for our services. It is a lot of tracking our time, and then coding our time, and writing up what we did with who. It’s a long process and I think the adjustment from FSDB is a little over whelming. At FSDB all the kids came to me, the same time every day, and I wrote lesson plans, recorded anything exceptional that occurred, but that was about it. Here it’s way more complex, and I understand why, but I am missing that interaction I had at FSDB. I was used to spending 95% of my day with my students, and I saw them everyday. Here I spend a little more than half of a day with clients, and Fridays are kept open so we can focus solely on data entry and paper work all day. Sometimes we may only see a client once a month. It’s hard to build rapport and build skills when you only see someone 12 times a year. I wish there was a way they could make the paperwork more efficient so more time could be spent with clients.
However, I do like that at the end of every lesson we write case notes that are broken up into sections based on the client’s goals, such as street crossing, campus travel, orientation, cane technique etc. We state where we met the client and what we worked on. When putting this information in the database we have to rate their skills before and after each lesson on a scale from 1-5. This makes tracking progress very easy. So for this reason I do see the benefit of some aspects of the paperwork.

As for mobility, I am enjoying observing Amanda and how she gives prompts when needed, but also gives each student the opportunity to attempt things independently. So far we have worked with a few college students on campus orientation and travel. Campuses are very difficult; the buildings are all arranged differently, with no apparent order to the other buildings around them. In our first O&M course we worked inside the building, but now that I’m working outside them it is much trickier.

We have also been working with some adults. This is new for me too, and I’m learning the teaching style is very different from high school students. Adults can be asked to correct their two point touch, or walk faster, but ultimately there is only so much the O&M teacher can do. Not that you can force a child to do something, but there is a different kind of rapport and respect.

So, things are going good so far and I’m excited to keep observing and start teaching some myself!

Internship starts tomorrow!

So tomorrow at 9am I will report to the lighthouse for duty! I am excited, I feel like I'm really ready. I am interested to see how this internship placement will differ from my TVI internship at FSDB. Before I was at a residential school, I had a classroom with my own desk and all of my students came to me at the same time everyday. I enjoyed that, but I do realize that many jobs are not like that. I'm happy I will now get the chance to see how an itinerant situation works, driving around with different clients and a different schedule everyday. Hopefully I will learn to be more organized...
We kind of started earlier this week with a freshman from FSU. We only had a few hours to cover routes from his dorm to two different building. One of his buildings was Bellamy, which was fun because I learned that building pretty thoroughly from watching Katie go through it under blindfold. It did notice a difference in the way we worked with the FSU student and the way we worked with each other in our O&M 1 course. With the FSU student our time was limited, and he needed to get the information quickly so he would be able to get to class on the first day of school. It was like we had this deadline pushing us to give quick to the point information. Luckily our student was a very good traveler and got the route quickly.
I'm glad to have noticed this difference, and I will keep it in mind when working with clients.

Mobility week

Sorry I've been MIA the last few weeks. Things have been crazy...anyway...

I have been working with the transition camp kids at the lighthouse. Anytime they leave the light house to go out to eat, go shopping, or go to job experiences I go with them. I observe their mobility, and have recently been jumping in more. We had one student who was totally blind and used a cane. I had been observing and working mostly with her because she has the most need for mobility. It has been fun trying to describe areas so she can find landmarks, encouraging her to use her cane using the proper techniques, and just watching her travel. Unfortunately, she left for a family vacation and will not be back. The rest of the kids have fairly good usable vision. Only one of them used a cane, and he only uses it in dimly lit unfamiliar places. In four weeks I've seen him use it once. So observation and teaching cane skills has declined.

This week is the most exciting week for me because it is mobility week! We are going on all kinds of field trips, riding the bus and doing street crossings. While it is difficult to note one particular thing I have noticed so far, I do see the typical teenage over confidence and attitude causing some students to make unwise mobility decisions. A few students did not use the cross walk when leaving the lighthouse today. They were corrected, and it is a small road with very little traffic so everything was fine. We rode the bus to the plaza, transfered and had to cross a major intersection to get to lunch. I was trying to note which students were having a hard time with outdoor mobility, but I started to realize it's almost impossible who really has the skills and who is just following the group; especially with this visually oriented group. I really couldn't tell if one particular student knew if was safe to cross or if he just followed the friend in front of him. We had some leaders who showed strong mobility skills, but other than those same students everyone else followed along. It made me realize how important one on one lessons are when working with individuals with visual impairments.

More to come...sooner than the last entry I promise!

Bus Travel

I enjoyed our bus ride yesterday. There were a lot of things I did not think about though, like how to find the door to the bus when it pulled up. If Mickey had not told us where to go I would have ended up groping the side of the entire bus until I found it. On the first bus the man that helped us was very nice, but just kind of grabbed me and did not tell me who he was. I think we talked a little about this yesterday, how it is hard to tell if the people helping you are nice or if they might have other intensions. If the man had told me from the beginning that he was a city bus employee it would have made me feel better. I kept thinking what a nice man he was, but when we got to the plaza and he did everything for us I started to get a little annoyed. I wanted us to have the experience asking for help, but how can you ask when someone doesn't let you have the chance? I know he had good intensions and he could have been much worse. When we were being taken to the gate for our second bus I was the last person in the sighted guide chain, so I was sticking way out to one side and scraped the side of my arm across a concrete pillar...it still hurts!

I thought it was strange when the second bus driver asked is we were really blind, and our bus helper guys said 'of course they are, they were this way when we picked them up from FSU'. Someone else at the mall asked me and David if we were 'playing blind'. Honestly who does that? Either some people no manners or we must have been doing a really bad job looking like we were blind. At one point on the bus I was talking to Katie and I realized I was using hand gestures...so maybe that tipped someone off.

The mall was a new experience. I've been so used to being outside with traffic, the sun, and sidewalks to guide me, the wide open space of the mall was confusing. And trailing is almost impossible because the store fronts are all different, sicking out and going back in at different angles. I kept losing the side of the wall, only to smack into it a few feet later. Once we got to the area with different textured tile it was much easier to follow. Walking through the bookstore was a little difficult because everything felt so close together, it was like a maze.

The bus ride home was easy, expect Katie and I realized we never told the driver to tell us when we were at the plaza, so every time we stopped from longer than 5 seconds we thought we were there.

Overall the bus experience was great. I have planned bus routes for students, I wrote my unit plan for this class about bus travel, and I have ridden the bus with my sight many times. Riding it with no sight, and dealing with others attitudes towards me as a 'blind' person was wonderful. Just like our O&M travel, it taught me what it would really be like to go through it, what my students will go through when I teach them bus travel.

Drop Off

So today was the drop off. I feel very silly for hyping it up in my head as much as I did. All last week I kept coming up with these scenarios, like what if I cross a street and go our of our 16 block area, what if I walk into a place we've never been, or what if I give up. The practice drop off yesterday helped build my confidence. I got completely, 100% lost. I had to try so hard to take what I thought I knew and throw it away. This was one of the first times I did this in such a complete way. Normally if I get lost I know I am somewhere on a particular street. Like the day I got lost on Park because I was sick and couldn't hear anything. Even though I was very disoriented I still knew what part of which street I was on. In our practice drop off I had nothing. I kept finding things, then I'd find a second thing and they didn't agree with each other. As hard as it was I had to force myself to erase them and start over, otherwise I would have driven myself crazy trying to make sense of things that were incorrect.
After yesterday, today was really easy. I got lucky that is for sure. I remembered what we had been taught, find the sidewalk, get to an intersection, and keep moving. I was unsure of my direction because when I got onto the sidewalk I was in the shade. I knew at that point I had to just pick a direction and go. After a few steps I found the sun, which confirmed that I was headed West, several steps later I noticed there were no intersecting driveways or sidewalk, then I reached out and felt the gate to the cemetery and that's when I felt about 99% sure of where I was. I still wanted to be cautious, yesterday I found hand rails and stairs and assumed they were one location when I was very wrong. I didn't want to assume anything completely until I got to Macomb and felt the wall I liked the hit with my cane when going back to Potbelly's. After that I kinda went into auto pilot, I had walked this part of Macomb to Potbelly's several times.
I am really glad I had the crazy lost experience yesterday, and in someways that experience is what I thought my drop off would be like. Now I know I was able to get out of a stressful situation like that. I am proud of all of us, this whole experience has been very rewarding.
Bus travel next week should be fun!

Transition Summer Program Day 1 Grocery Shopping

Today was the first day of the summer transition program that I will be getting some hours from. There are about 10 kids, all upper middle school to high school aged. The kids arrived and the teachers reviewed the rules, a point system to earn rewards, and then everyone introduced themselves. After that we talked about making lunches and how this first week we will be making sandwiches. The kids made a grocery list of all the foods they needed to make sandwiches. Then we were off to Wal-Mart. We stayed in one large group, which turned out to be very difficult to do. Everyone wanted something different, some people were voicing their opinions while others stood way in the back of the group not paying attention. Some kids really tried to make sure everyone was in agreement with what we were buying, but because our group was so large things were chaotic. I was trying to observe mobility skills, and most of the kids did very well. Only one student out of the 10 was using a cane, but she walked sighted guide through most of Wal-Mart. The other kids were all low vision and they were able to get around without any problems. A few times they bumped into other shoppers carts, but I think this was really because they just were not paying attention. The only real issue I noticed from the group as a whole was the way they walked around in the parking lot. They were all over the place, both sides of the parking lot lane and cars were waiting for them to move. The kids either couldn't see the car or just didn't care.

I think there is a lot of group mentality going on. Some kids are acting out because they want to show off in front of others. It makes me wonder if that's why they just walked right out into the parking lot without looking. I also think their mobility was so good because many of them are familiar with the general lay out of all Wal-Mart stores. I think when we spend more time outside, or when we are in new unique locations their mobility needs will start to show.

Practicum week 2 - Part 2

The second half of week two Ms. W and I went to a very small town about an hour away to see Q. Q is a 30 year old woman who has very little vision, uses a cane, and lives with her family. Ms. W stated that she has the impression that Q wants to do things on her own but her family does not allow her to. Q has been through all of the courses at the agency, but her family still assists her in many daily living activities. We started with Q in a near by parking lot and worked on walking down a sidewalk along a busy street, crossing some driveways as we walked. Q uses a long cane with a roller tip, which she slides back and forth across the sidewalk. Q was doing her best to hold her cane in the center of her body at first, but seemed to slowly let her arm drop to her right side, which caused her cover on the left to get smaller. Ms. W would remind Q every once in a while to make sure her arc was consistent and wide enough on each side. When it came time for Q to cross a drive way she easily identified the area where the sidewalk ended and the road began. She waited for there to be silence, and Ms. W reminded her that she could also cross with the cars if she felt comfortable. When Q cross she veered toward the street, and Ms. W stopped her to have her feel the dip down of the gutter next to the road. Q said she could feel the difference. Ms. W also reminded her that because the road was very busy next to her, that when she gets to the curb she needs to immediately step up and get out of the road. With every correction Q seemed more focused and determined to fix her problems. On our way back she veered into a parking lot and began walking into it. Ms. W pointed out the sounds of the cars, and the grass line. This was interesting to me, because in our O&M II class I have done this, and watched Katie and David make this mistake several times. The way Q got out of it and the way I've seen my classmates get out of it was very similar. It was neat seeing the connection from our simulated blindness and outdoor travel, and someone who really is blind. Every day I realize more and more how much we have learned in our mobility class, and how much I am going to rely on it when I teach.

Along the way a friend of Q's stopped her and asked how she was. Q did not know who this woman was at first, and it threw her off. The woman kept saying "Look at you out here, I knew you could do it girl!" and repeating it over and over. Q did her best to smile and say thank you, but I could tell she was a little annoyed by it. We talked about it later and she told us how people will come talk to her and she has no idea who they are. She then went onto explain how her family has started to get better at letting her know when they are coming into a room near her, or when they are leaving. I really liked Q's attitude, she seems to take everything in stride, and even while telling us about things that have gone wrong she was smiling and laughing like she was telling us a funny story.

Then we went to Wal-Mart so she could practice using customer service help her find items. We talked about the entrance of the store, and where customer service was in relation to the doors. We had her practice getting to customer service a few times, pointing out landmarks and cues along the way. We then role played what Q would say to the customer service workers, and talked about the items she wanted. I was impressed with the amount of detail Q knew about the products she had to get. I'm assuming she has done this before. I took some students from my internship to a grocery store and many of them had things on their list like 'potato chips'. Once we got there we realized just how many options there are, flavors, brands, sizes... But Q was ready, and when she went off with the man from customer service it only took about 5 minutes to go get her items and get back to the front. Ms. W and I followed Q from a distance, it was funny, I felt like we where spying on her. Ms. W told Q that the next time she goes to Wal-Mart with her family that she should use customer service to locate her items and then meet up with her family when she's done. Ms. W also suggested having someone drop her off at Wal-Mart so she can shop and have them pick her up at a certain time. Q seemed very excited about these ideas. On the way home she was beaming with pride. We asked her how she felt about the shopping experience and she said that it was wonderful, it made her feel like blind people can do anything everyone else can do, just in a different way. Maybe she's heard someone else say that, but I'm new at this, and hearing that reminded me of why I love doing this.

The next day I met Ms. W at the agency to work with T. T is an older woman who needed orientation to the new building. Ms. W told me that T's mobility was pretty good, but then she fell and broke some bones and was in a rehab center on on bed rest for a while. Because of her time of being immobile, and her new fear of falling, her mobility skills have dropped. First we went to the kitchen so T could put away some of her drinks. On the way to the kitchen Ms. W pointed out landmarks as we passed them. T reached out to feel the braille sign for the women's restroom and said "oh I guess I'm cheating". Ms. W laughed and told her that it was fine to check out her environment. Once in the kitchen she wanted to know the lay out. Ms. W described the area, the table in the middle, counters and large appliances. T then went around the kitchen feeling everything, and she kept asking what color everything was, which I thought was interesting. She repeatedly said things like "oh I bet thats really pretty I wish I could see it". It made me wonder if she has some remaining acceptance issues, or if this is just a way she deals with her vision loss. We took a break for her to drink some water and talked a little bit about her mobility. At one point she admitted that she doesn't always use her cane the way she should and has hit her head on a few things at home. T said she needed a new talking watch, so we used this need to teach her a route to the supply closet. T was very talkative, and every person we passed she said hello and had many conversations. The time for our lesson was up, and Ms. W had to leave. I tried to tell T the way to some couches so we could sit down. I tried standing behind T and telling her where to go, but she kept turning toward my voice and following me as I backed up to get out of her way. Later I helped her program her new watch and then it was time for me to go.

I had a lot of good experiences this week in a variety of settings. Next week the transition camp will start and I will be helping with mobility when the kids go out into the community. It should be fun! I really liked working with the adult clients, but I have to admit I did miss the silliness that comes with working with young people.

17 hours logged!

Week 2 - part 1

For my second week of the O&M practicum I was with Ms.W. We started our first day together by her giving me a breif description of the client we were going to see, and then I went to read his eye report. I had to look up a few things in the little green eye definitions book. I took a few notes about things I noticed in the clients file to ask Ms. W about. Right before the client arrived Ms. W and I reviewed and discussed the client, what his needs were, and what we would be working on today. E is an older man with severe glaucoma. Because of the disease he has lost a lot of his peripheral vision and he now stated that the vision in his right eye is almost completely gone. In E's libe of work he travels a lot, sometimes out of the country. He wants a cane more to identify himself to others that for actual mobility. He stated that at night his vision is worse so he may use a cane to detect curbs or stairs in dark areas. Ms. W showed him a variety of canes, and then taught him the proper grip. With each cane she asked "What do you notice about this cane? What is it made of? What is the handle made of? How does it feel?" etc. I liked this approach because it made E look closely at each cane and then helped him compare canes to choose the one he felt most comfortable with. Once E had selected the folding cane with a pencil tip Ms. W suggested she measure him so that she could order the appropriate length cane. The example E had been feeling and holding was about 44" long, when measured he needed about a 52". E stated that he preferred the size of the demo cane. Ms. W did her best to explain to him that the 44" length would not give him enough warning time to react, and that he may fall, trip or run into things because his coverage would be so short. E firmly but politely again stated that he preferred the shorter cane. When asked why he liked the smaller one he said that it was because it looked more like a walking cane at that size. He openly said he did not want to look 'too blind'. A very respectful, polite disagreement ensued. Finally Ms. W let E make his own decision and gave him the 44" to keep, on the condition that when he comes to do mobility he can try the longer cane to compare it to the 44". I believe that E still has some social issues with being identified as a blind or visually impaired person. This experience was strange and I'm really glad I got to watch it unfold. I have a hard enough time telling a child no, to tell someone much older would feel weird. I have little experience working with adults, and learning the boundaries of how much the teacher can respectfully push their opinion is interesting. As a last resort if what is happening is just not safe or appropriate I guess the teacher would tell the client that they do not feel comfortable providing services the way the client wants them.

The next day I met Ms. W at the mall with 3 of her clients. They had already looked up information about the lay out of the mall and found stores they wanted to go to. Our objectives were to get to an ATM and then to the dollar store. Two of the clients were completely blind and were using canes. Ms. W and I each took one of them sighted guide. The other client was low vision and he walk close enough to us so that he could see us and follow. Before we walked into the mall we talked about the bus stops and in coming and out going buses. Along our route we stopped several times to point out things in the environment. For example before going inside the mall we stopped to talk about the doors, were they were, how many there were, what the handles were shaped like etc. Once inside we walked in and made a turn, telling the clients what store we were passing along the way. We got them into the middle of the upper floor of the mall and had them trail a railing and shore line along one part of the route. We gave more information, but we also stopped to ask them what they were noticing about the environment. The clients knew we needed to get to the main floor of the mall, and they decided the best way to get there was by elevator. For those of you who know me, I am kind of weird about going in elevators, they make me feel closed in and trapped. But I was in a professional role with clients, and I knew this situation was going to happen sooner or later. I focused on instructing the clients and observing Ms. W to help ignore my anxiety. I did not feel as nervous as I normally do, it was like I knew I was there for someone else, so I did not think about what I wanted. It made me feel confidant in myself that I can handle it if I need to.

We then went to the ATM and while Ms. W helped one client take out cash I took the other two to the center of the mall and talked about what was near by. I was not sure how much to tell them, so I gave an over view. Ms. W then joined us with the other client and because they seemed to want to know more she told them every food place in the food court in order from left to right. I felt silly for not telling them what was their, I mean if I don't tell them then how would they have known? I found out later that these clients are new to town and had never really been to the mall before. Because I didn't get to meet with Ms. W before I did not know that. Next we went sighted guide to the dollar store, again describing what was around us. We walked the clients around the outer walls of the to give them an idea of the size of the store, and telling them what was for sale. When we were ready to leave Ms. W stopped to point out a dangerous area just outside of the store. A staircase rose up diagonally in front of us, but there were not supports underneath it. If a person who is blind walked straight out of the dollar store their cane might not catch the bottom of the stair case, but if the kept going the could easily slam their face into the upper part of the stairs. I was really glad she pointed that out, it was something I have seen in other buildings, but not at the mall.

After that we had some time, and Ms. W had $10 for a snack for the 3 clients. They decided they wanted coffee from Starbucks. Ms. W suggested that the low vision client try to take us back to Starbucks. He got right to the store, but then veer a little toward the food court. After only a few seconds of examination he turned around and found Starbucks. I liked that Ms. W found something for him to be responsible for, it pulled him back into the mall lesson and probably gave him a feeling of accomplishment when he found it. I assisted the client I had been working with into Starbucks and he found his way to the counter. I had the feeling that he wanted me to help him with his purchase, but I did my best to hang back and let him handle it. Once he had his coffee I held it for him and we walked back to a near by table. I have no idea how a person who does not know where they are could hold an very full very hot coffee and use a cane to find a table. I'm sure it would be even harder if he had a tray from the food court because then both hands would be full. Once at the table my client tasted his coffee and was mad that they did not add sugar for him. I explained that not everyone wants sugar, that next time he should tell them when he's ordering how much cream and sugar he would like. He asked me to go get him some sugar packets, and I said that I wanted him to do it so he could find it next time he came to Starbucks. His response was "don't worry about that I'll never be coming back here again". He also said he was tired and by the time he found the sugar it would be time to leave and then he wouldn't be able to drink his coffee. I told him I'd help him get there and it would be quick. This whole time we're talking I started to realize an older man at the table next to us was watching us very intently. Out of no where this stranger interrupts us and says "oh come on miss you could go get it for him it wouldn't be that hard for you". I tried to laugh it off but I was a little irritated, did that man think I was being mean to the client because I wouldn't do something for him? I know some people do not understand that for a blind person to learn they have to have the experience doing it themselves. I explained to our on looker that I wanted my client to know where the cream and sugar table was located so that if next time he is here without me he will be able to find it. After that the man said nothing else and the client agreed to go with me. Once he got his coffee just right he gulped it down and it was time to leave.

The situation with a the stranger was weird, but something that I am sure happens all the time. I see people staring in our mobility class, sometimes people stop to ask Mickey what we are doing, but no one ever says things to Mickey like "hey why don't you help her find the sidewalk, it wouldn't be hard you for to help". I know they man meant no harm by his comment and I have to admit our situation did look a little out of the ordinary, if I was him I'd probably be watching too. I'm glad I had this experience and I think my response was informative yet polite.

Thanks David!

I was glad that David took the time to examine our area and point out the streets we have not traveled on. I'm glad I'm not the only one who was worried about this, with drop offs only 1 week away!!! When it was my turn to teach him I had this complex plan ready to go. Aparently I was too excited about the weird part of College, on the south side between MLK and Brounough. I advocated for it too much and ended up with a blindfold on. I should have known this would happen. Not only was this a part of the street I have never walked on under blindfold, I don't think I've ever really looked at it before. It was like going into an area with very little visual memory. When Mickey pointed out the long line of truncated bumps along one edge of the walkway I was very surprised. I wondered how I had never noticed this before. It was so easy to follow I wished every sidewalk had a nice defined line of plastic truncated bumps, but of course I know that is silly. I am guessing the truncated bumps are there to warn a blind person that the street is coming up, and not meant to be walked down the entire length, because when I did this I got way to close to a pole and smacked my hand very hard.
It was also strange walking with someone else who was under blindfold. I was hesitant to cross MLK at first, but when I heard David go I decided that it must be safe (or we are less likely to be hit by a car if there are 2 of us in the road). Once on the walkway my pace was a little different than David's so I kept hearing off beat taps which was a bit confusing. I wondered about some of the kids at FSDB who I had seen walking together, both with canes. They are so use to cane travel that another cane tapping probably didn't effect them at all. It's like every new sound or experience I come across my mind has to adsorb it and try to push through it and keep my focus on orientation. The best part about walking with David was that he found the intersection and lined up with it before me, and then said "hey Jasmine it's over here!". Thanks David!

Practicum - Week 1

This summer I will be doing my O&M practicum and the first 50 hours for ACVREP at a local agency in Florida. Out of respect for the agency's clients I will not say which agency and I will only use client initials.
I will be splitting my time with Ms. B and Ms. W, two certified orientation and mobility specialists. I will also get to work with Ms.B's transition program later in the summer.
For the first week I was with Ms. B. We met and discussed some of her clients, when we would see them and some ideas about how we can meet their O&M needs. After planning the rest of our week we went to visit V. V is a student who needed help with the summer bus schedule. We printed copies of the school buses that go by his apartment and used a sharpie to bold the route making it easier for V to see. We did not enlarge the map because he prefers to use regular print with a magnifier. We ran into a problem that some of his classes end after 5pm and the school buses stop at 5pm. V said he would ask his teacher if he could leave a few minutes early, or he look into taking the city bus home. Ms. B scheduled another appointment in 90 days, the maximum amount of time that can go between visits for a client's case to remain open. It was clear V. did not need a lot of help. Ms. B was very understanding of his needs and I really enjoyed the way she pointed out all of V.'s strengths and praised him for his independence.
There were no other mobility clients for me to observe that week due to conflicts in my schedule.

The next week I met Ms. B at the agency to plan. We looked at more bus routes for students. We looked online and called the city transportation department for more information. Because the online system and the phone service gave us little information about the location of an actual stop, we decided to go drive the route. One student, L., wants to get from her home to a Starbucks. We found a Starbucks along a bus route, but after driving it we realized it would drop her off in a place that was not safe. This made me realize the value of planning ahead and actually seeing it for yourself. If we had planned the lesson based on that stop, spent all that time working on it with the student, only to realize later that it was bad, we would have wasted so much time.

After planning and driving the route we went to see A. A. lives alone in an apartment complex. She has had difficulty getting to her dumpster to take out her trash, and because she has left it outside her front door her complex fined her. When Ms.B was last with A. her assignment was to call the complex and self advocate, explaining her situation. A. is totally blind, due to TBI. She also has short term memory problems which makes remembering a route difficult. A. reported that she called her complex and they agreed to have a maintenance man come pick up her garbage as long as she called to let them know she had put it out. Ms. B was proud of A. for calling and standing up for herself. Before we started Ms.B verbally reviewed the route we were going to work on with A. A. went outside and walked the parts of the route she could remember, a long distance, and stopped to think when she became confused. She identified many landmarks along thew way and seemed fairly confidant as she traveled. Ms. B stopper her at key points to get A. to identify where she was. The rest of the route was broken up into sections and worked backward and forward. When she reached the end, A. would have to walk back to the previous landmark and then get back to the end. Once A. went too far and Ms.B let her go until she figured it out on her own. Once back at her apartment the route was discussed in detail. Ms. B went through it step by step with A., and A. recorded the directions verbally into a tape recorder. Because of her memory loss she uses a tape recorder to recall information and uses it when practicing the route alone. Before we left we planned A.'s next meeting.

Ms. B and I could not meet the next day, however I planned from home. R. might get a job at one of the malls in town. I had to look up information about where the closest bus stop was to her house, if it was safe to get to, and what the easiest and safest way there was for her top get to the mall. Bus routes can be complicated! Even after calling the city bus customer service line I still wasn't sure where the closest stop was to her house. The man on the phone told me the area I asked him to look up was a government building...weird. I wrote out several aproximate times the bus would arive, when and how it would change at the station, and when it would arrive at the mall. I also did the return route, and made notes about a night bus. This took me an hour!

The next day Ms. B and I met at L.'s apartment. L. is the student mentioned above who wanted to get to a Starbucks using the city bus. Ms. B planned out the bus route fot L. Like with A., before we started Ms. B. went over the route verbally. We began with L. getting out of her complex. She did this with ease. The next step was walking a couple blocks to the bus stop on a major intersecting road. L. was hesitant whenever a car drove down the street next to her. Ms. B shower L. how wide the grass was so she would know there was no way she would fall into the road. As L. went on she veered when crossing a driveway, but recovered. Once we reached the corner where she would have to cross to get to the bus stop we were running out of time. Ms. B decided to reverse the route and see if L. could get back home. This time the traffic did not seem to bother her. She was home quickly and we planned our next meeting. During the lesson I noticed how Ms. B was careful not to answer all of L.'s questions with 'yes' or 'no' answers. Instead she would ask 'what makes for think that?' and 'how can we be sure?'. By doing this she is avoiding teaching learned helplessness to L.

The next day we went to see R., the student who I had planned a bus route for. Ms. B had driven by and determined the location of the closest stop. She went over directions verbally with R. before we left the house. As we walked down the sidewalk Ms. B encouraged R. to use 2 point touch instead of shore lining and constant contact. When R. was not covering enough on her left and too much on the right Ms. B would make a joke saying 'that's so sweet of you to cover me on your right, but I'm okay you need to cover yourself more'. Once at the bus stop R. realized she had no money. Ms. B and I quietly discussed if we should loan her the money so we could still do the lesson. Ms.B decided to make it a point about responsibility and being prepared. I thought this was a good idea because if R. was alone and the bus had come, they would not have let her on without money. Looking at my notes about the bus times I realized we might have just enough time to hurry back to R.'s home to pick up money and get back before the bus came. Ms. B went over the reverse route step by step. Motivated, R. moved quickly back down the route to her home. She got some change and then we were off again. As we walked I began to hear the bus in the distance, and when we were only 2 blocks away from the stop the bus drove past us, not stopping at our stop because no one was there waiting. I was kind of dissapointed after all that time I put into planning our trip. However I aggree with Ms. B's decision to make R. responsible for her bus money.

The last day of that week Ms. B and I went to visit M. M. is applying to dog guide schools to get a dog. The last time someone from his preferred school came to visit he noted things about M.'s apartment that would have to change before he could receive a dog. Ms. B came to take pictures of the improvements that M. made. She also reviewed paperwork and discussed the last few steps M. needs to do to get his dog.

Ms. B informed me she would be out of town the following week, and then busy transferring her case load the next. My following week was too busy to do anything, so the following week she said I should try to meet with the other mobility specialist, Ms. W.

This first week was very interesting. I feel like I got to observe a variety of clients with very different needs. I am not used to working with adults, so things were slightly different. When a client's 2-point touch was not wide enough the correction for an adult is different than for a child. I really like the way Ms. B corrects client's in a way that motivates them. Because I am in the mobility class and dealing with confusion and correction while under the blindfold I feel compassion for the client's during their lesson. I do not enjoy being corrected in a way that comes off harsh or when the teacher does not understand what I am doing.
I look forward to the rest of this summer, and seeing other things I have only read about in action.

half-way disoriented

Starting off this week I felt like I got a little confused because I only went to one class the week before. Missing consistent practice under the blindfold and exploring the area made me feel under-prepared. This made me think about how my future clients will need a lot of practice in an area, and that their skills could also become rusty if they are not using them regularly.
On Tuesday when I got confused on Park, it took everything I have learned to get me to re-orient myself. I had to listen to traffic, try not to move around too much, listen to people around me, try to head toward the street, as well as the use of cardinal directions. Sometimes it is really hard for me to take what I think I know and throw it away. I was standing there hearing one way traffic, thinking I was facing Duval. It made sense traffic was moving from my right to my left. So I based my world around that. When I realized that when facing the moving cars that Bronough's traffic would also move from my right to my left...it was like an epiphany. My mind was blown completely. Because of this realization I was able to force everything in my head to shift and fit with what was really there. I'm very grateful to have had that experience and that Katie gave me enough time to figure it out. I know sometimes I need help, sometimes I get too frustrated and I can't get out of it, but because I had this chance to do it, it's like I proved myself to...myself. I know I did it once so I can do it again. Katie was a really great teacher. I know for sure any struggles she has under the blindfold have only made her a more understanding and helpful teacher.

Teaching each other can be difficult. When to give information, how much to give, how to deliver comments. I have noticed this a lot when out with Amanda because she does O&M with adults. These people are, for the most part, competent independent adults. It's so much harder when giving directions and critiquing their skills because the teacher-student relationship is totally different. For example when I teach Katie or David I feel awkward when telling them what to do or that they messed up. I try to do things the way I have observed Mickey and Amanda doing with us and their clients. I feel bad about what happened when I was trying to cross Bronough. I think I got really distracted by people talking to me, and after veering, it was too much and I stated doubting myself. It was like I was half-way disoriented. I knew the general area I was in, but really wanted to line up with the curb cut, which is not very defined at that particular corner. I shouldn't have started doubting myself so much, I kept feeling like I needed to check it just one more time. I wanted more time, and I needed to hurry. I guess I felt a little irritated when I was told the reason I needed to hurry up was because other people were hot and sick of waiting on me, when I feel like I wait 3+ traffic cycles for others to decide to cross with out saying a word. I take my time under the blindfold seriously, and to suggest that I was just playing around wasting time kind of hurt my feelings. That on top of being very tired and stressed made me kind of snap momentarily. I needed to be pushed and told to go, a good teacher would do that. I got over it in about 5 minutes and knew it wasn't a big deal. It was no ones fault, and I'm glad I experienced it. Now I know what my students may be going through if I don't understand why they are doing something and accidentally hurt their feelings. I now understand the fine line of giving enough time to orient, while also pushing the student to make a decision and go with it. This class is definatly teaching me a lot more than just mobility skills.

Where am I?

I got really lost and could not get myself out of it for the first time today. I don't really understand why I did what I did. I think everything started to go wrong when I turned east up Park Ave and didn't even realize that I had turned. I have a cold and played soccer last night which made it worse, so I am assuming that is why I could not localize anything today. It's the strangest feeling; hearing the sound but not being able to tell where it's coming from and where it's going. I must have subconsciously noticed this difference because I was very needy and wanted to shoreline every where. I knew that I couldn't trust my hearing so other information took over. It was really hard to travel this way, since auditory cues are my self-assuring way to double check my orientation. I have heard kids at FSDB say this and now I feel like I had a glimpse of it. Today I felt even more blind. My vision was the same, but my other senses were not the same. This must be incredibally difficult for a person with a visual impairment. Not only are you not feeling well, but now it's even harder to get around safely and independently. While it was frustrating, I am very glad I had this experience. If something like that happens to one of my future students I will understand. And if I get turned around on my drop off I now know I have had some real problem solving experience. I was mad at myself thast Mickey had to help me, I really did want to do it on my own. However, I am glad Mickey stopped me when he did because I was getting to the point of not wanting to try anymore. I can't think of a way he could have done that any better. I have noticed with kids in my internship, and people in general, when the frustration level is too high their ability to be open to new ideas just shuts down. I was about 30 seconds away from shutting down.

Building confidence

I had a lot of experience problem solving in yesterday and today's class. Learning things like which way to turn when I am confused, how to reorient myself and how to put the pieces back together. One thing I have noticed about being outside is the abundance of information, especially from my cane. I am learning to trust it more, and beginning to understand how to differentiate several types of surfaces as I walk. This helps me when shore lining, finding the curb and stepping up to the edge of an intersection.

I really like my time under the blind fold. It can be very stressful and confusing, but when I am able to get though something, even with help, it makes me feel more confident and makes me want to keep going. I enjoy walking quickly down the sidewalks because I think when I slow down and start doubting myself I tend to veer more. I have begun to notice when my mind is focused on my cane tip instead of the end of the sidewalk, and how it causes errors. Sometimes I let a little stumble off the sidewalk ruin all the confidence I had built up. I need to stop letting minor errors get to me. I have also noticed that I veer more when I am unsure when crossing a street. If I cross and am confident then I know I have enough time and don't feel rushed. If I doubt myself then I rush and get off my straight line to the other sidewalk. The more streets we cross the better I feel about it, and I know after watching everyone else cross the street, Mickey is always a few feet away directing and traffic that comes near us.

I found Potbelly's...I think?

The second day for me felt better. I think I was able to shake off my anxiety from yesterday and just walk. Sometimes I felt the faster I walked the straighter I traveled. I remember this from indoor mobility, but it was harder to convince myself to keep going fast today when I felt like I might step off the curb at any moment. The wall on the east side of Macomb helped me. The wall was much easier to shoreline with than the grass and dirt. I was also able to walk faster because my cane didn't sick into the ground, instead it just bounced off, making me stutter and stumble less, giving me more confidence.
Intersection analysis can be really difficult when there are not many cars around! I now know I have to give it time and wait until I am sure of what is in front of me. It's a weird transition from walking swiftly and breezing by things, to having to stop and stand still and pay very close attention to all the details the intersection has to offer.
I am happy with how straight I was able to walk on my way down College to potbelly's; execpt for the minor turn into the brick post. I do use my hearing a lot, and I thought once we went outside I would loose this skill because every thing is so open and there is not much closed space for sound to bounce off of. So today when I was walking fast and straight I noticed I was using the sound of my 2 point touch to guide my path. If I could keep a consistant arc and hit the cane to the ground at about the same width every time, in my mind it made two imaginary lines for me to stay between. The best way I can describe it is like if you were walking down the middle of a railroad track and your cane hit the left rail and then the right rail as you walked, and you had no choice but to stay in between the two rails. This way I was able to make the sound my cane made on the ground guide me. I know this could get me into trouble when things are in my way, but thats when I like to step to the side with one foot and drag the other over. I don't know if I would have known to do this if I had not seen how Katie got turned around in the cemetery. When Mickey said if you move your feet you'll loose your orientation I realized that when I get lost I need to move in very straight purposeful grid-like patterns, so that I can go back if I make a mistake.
I got some good landmarks today, like the stairs and round garden in the park on Park Ave, the low hanging tree branches where the leaf went into my ear, and whatever that dirt mound was that tried to eat my cane. I think with more practice I will be able to connect these things to figure out where I am. It was really fun walking back to Potbelly's and getting there was very satisfying. I am excited to keep practicing this, and then eventually get there without knowing where I am when I start.

we're taking it to the streets yo

Walking outside today was a completely new experience. There were so many sounds, smells, and it was so hot! Going last had it's advantages. I got to see how easily you can get sucked into a drive way and end up walking into the middle of the road. Poor David! That was the first time I looked around and thought about the cars, I mean I knew they would be there posing a threat, but it wasn't until David was in the road and we had to kind of stand out into the road and hold our hands up so cars would stop, that I realized how important this new level of mobility is. Inside a student could walk into the wrong classroom, or at the very worst forget where a set of downward stairs are and fall. But I'm pretty sure as Mickey showed us in the Stone building with "Jill", falling down the stairs is way better than being hit by a car. Another really scary moment for me was when I took off my blindfold to see the huge oak tree that was sticking out by the corner of Bronough and Call. How could a blind person know that was there? And if it blocked their sound of an on coming car, and blocked the driver's view of the blind person, I dont' want to imagine how that might end. In a way this seriousness motivates me to pay attention, focus on my environment, and stay very aware of what I am doing. I have to make sure that it does push me to try harder, otherwise I think I might become too cautious and miss things.
Outside can be a lot more confusing than inside. Sidewalks end, streets shift over, sometime there are stop signs, somethings there are lights. I really noticed this with the median in Park Ave and how it sudden shifts to the south once Park reaches the cemetery. Mickey made the comment that the road moves because it was built after the cemetery, and they couldn't just move a really old cemetery. That has helped me make sence of things...not making sense. Buildings for the most part are built all at once, with one designer, and one set of blueprints. Sometimes buildings are re-modeled or additions are built, but these are still based on what was originally there. Outside things are completely different, especially in an area that has seen a lot of change over the years like downtown Tallahassee. Whoever built and designed the library had nothing to do with the office building next door. Because of this their driveways, enterances and other features are different. I'm sure these might serve as landmarks and ques later, but right now their inconsistency is confusing. We are used to nice long hallways, doors, and stairwells, that all fit together. Because of this the transition to outside might take me a few practices to really get used to.

Seeing Eye and New York

The Seeing Eye was amazing! I'm so glad I got the opportunity to see how everything works first hand. They were so nice and I learned a lot. Some of what we heard I already knew, but the hands on experiences were eye opening. I loved the walk we did where we got to watch a blind student with their dog. I got to see how their mobility is different when they are using a dog instead of a cane. I also thought their training program was incredible! When we saw what they called "intelligent disobedience" I was impressed. That was the moment I realized that these dogs are not just really well bred well mannered dogs that understand "left" and "right". That's when I began to understand just how intelligent a Seeing Eye dog is, that they really can go beyond what a cane can do and protect the blind person. I also really appreciated the way they kept mentioning that they are there to help our students, that the Seeing Eye and COMS should work together to do what is best for their clients. I might be under their spell right now, but as a COMS if I have older mature students who I think could handle having a Seeing Eye dog, I would strongly encourage it. The happiness and confidence that I saw in the three students who shared their stories was motivating. When I go to FSDB in a few weeks for their prom I have at least 1 student in mind who I think would be perfect for a Seeing Eye dog.

New York was wonderful! So much happening, so much to see, I never wanted to stop walking. I really enjoyed the subway museum. I learned things that day that I would have never gotten to experience in Tallahassee or most cities. China town was an experience, but now I have a really cool and kinda sketchy story to tell everyone! And a nice watch! I loved the city so much, I can't wait to go back. I think I'm starting to annoy my roommates because every other sentence I say it "Well, in New York there was this..." or "New York has that but it's bigger/better/more interesting..." I was sad to leave, but I am very excited to start our outdoor mobility. Hopefully my cane will be here soon!